The gift

I take you
to lunch
to thank
you.
To thank
you for
something
so big.
I have not
had a friend,
a man
give me
such power
over myself.
We are both
so cold we
get a bowls
of Chili.
Not a good
relationship
with your
father, you
say.
It takes me
off guard.
I never
talk about
my father.
What makes
you say
that , I ask?
The way
you are with men,
he says.
Stop, I say.
I quit eating.
we both
look at each
other in
silence.
I just hang
my head.
I am so
exhausted
over this subject.
the one I never
speak about.
At 43.
Can i just say
one thing?
you ask.
Yes, I say.
not even looking
at him.
I wanted you to
meet a male that
would
 never let you
down.
A male that would
show you what
you deserve,
how to be protected
and taken care of.
A male that sees
you. I wanted to
do this so you will
have a new standard
going forward.
I will not lift my
head.
If I do, I will start
to cry.
Look at me.
you say.
I raise my head.
Even if we never
talk again, or
we end up
with other people
or we are just
friends.
I wanted you
to have this
gift. This
gift of Your
bar..what you
are worth.
Smokes..He is
that male.
That Bar.
Us men.
we are so
off target.
But a horse.
A horse will connect
with you and show
you what you
need, and what
you deserve.
The simplest things.
I am now crying.
Hot tears, streaming
down my face.
I can not even
speak.
You hold my hand
as I cry.
Thank you
for that gift,
I say.
We walk to our cars.
laughing and crying
I say...
well hell,
who would
have known
what Eharmony
would have done
for me?
You hold my
hand.
For the first
time,
In my life
I can breath
naturally
and you
my father
you drift
away in
the mountains.
I just met
The Male , My teacher.
His name is
smokes
and he is
the bar.
My bar.