Your voice

I picked 

up the phone 

and dialed 

your phone

number.

I was driving 

the car at 

the same

time.

I could not think

straight.

It was an

early

sunday morning.

As I drove

to work

I knew

I had 

to do this

now.

this moment.

Call you.

Say all

the things

I should

have said

 20 years ago.

You answered 

the phone.

I heard

your voice.

That voice.

All the things

all the 

ugly 

things came 

out of my 

mouth.

Things 

I thought

were gone.

I could not

control

my words

my thoughts.

Empty it out

of your heart,

I said to 

myself.

You tried 

to interrupt 

me.

I yelled louder

to cover up

your voice

that voice.

The voice

that yelled

at me.

The voice 

that whispered 

in my ear

while

you violated

my young soul.

I purged

my last 

scream,

my last cry

and I hung

up the phone.

I pulled off

the highway

and into 

a gas station.

I got out of my

car 

legs

shaking,

I actually fell 

to the ground.

I sat there

breathing

so hard

I thought

I might be

having a heart 

attack.

A man

came over

and held

his hand

out,

You ok?

He asked.

I struggled 

to get up,

my legs

felt like

wet paper.

Yes,

i replied

Thanks, 

I said.

I heard your

voice whisper in

my ear,

Dont Cry...

I got into

my car

and drove

down

the rode.

I will not

cry i whispered.

But,

I will fight

you son of a bitch.

I will fight

I will live

and I will

push that 

voice out of

my head.

That voice,

your voice.

my past.