Empty bottle of Water..

I hate this
feeling.
It comes on
so fast and
once I feel
it I can not
escape it.
I try.
I exercise, clean
read and nap
all to try
to get this
feeling out
of me.
Once its there
it takes awhile
to get rid of it.
Its too late.
It is here and
it is draining
me fast.
Its like opening
a bottle of water.
tipping it upside
down and letting
all the water drain out..
fast.
That is how I feel
right now. Empty.
Lonely.
I look in the mirror.
I am not hideous.
I look all around
at my blessings.
How could this be.
But as I crawl into
my bed, I
realize...I am alone.
Empty.
And so I cry.
Crying like I have
lost something
so important.
Crying so I can not
breath..gasping for air.
I feel so bad I
drop to my knees
and pray..God..
fill this empty space.
I hate the way
I feel.
depressing
hopeless
lonely
I pray for
the one thing
God can not
give me.
Because it is
a selfish request.
I have 2 arms
2 legs.
My life is good.
I have food, I am safe,
I have a warm place
to lay my head.
but I ask for something
I know in my heart
I will never get..
someone to love me.
I sit and calm myself.
Calm yourself.
I think.
Why am I here God?
I listen and wait....
...........
To love.
To fill your bottle of Water.
Nobody will
fill it for you..
Nobody.
.............
I wipe my tears
and get up off
the floor.
In my next life...
I pray that I find
someone to love me.
But in this life,
I will fill up
my own bottle..
I have no choice.