I would love to be free

I bend down
and I feel it
in my back.
I am on my
hands and
knees.
Cleaning.
Scrubbing.
The floor.
Whenever I
think of
you.
I get a bucket
out of soapy water.
get on my hands
and knees and
I scrub.
I do my best cleaning.
I feel if I scrub
hard enough.
fast enough.
Long enough.
You will float
right out of my
head.
Are you gone?
Not today.
I get up and
go to another
room.
Hours go by and
I can feel it
in my arms
and back.
It is so painful.
I should pass out
right?
I get this way
once in awhile.
And when I do
it is manic.
Its like you
are under my
skin.
There is nothing
left to clean.
I took the last
dirty bucket of
water outside
and dumped it
in the field.
Walking back
to the house
I start to cry.
Finally.
This will
get you
out of me.
I sit down on
the ground
with an empty
yellow bucket.
crying, sobbing.
Please leave
me.
Leave my mind.
Leave my heart.
Leave my soul.
My neighbor walks
behind me and
takes me by my
shoulders.
Rossa?
What is wrong?
My Father is gone.
I reply.
I am so sorry.
He grabs me
in his arms
and holds
me as I weep.
I have nothing
left.
I take two steps
back.
Thank you.
I say.
I walk away.
as I walk away,
my neighbor
asks..If there is
anything I can Do?
let me know ?
I keep walking
with my empty
bucket.
No, I think.
You can do
nothing.
He left my head.
And he is gone.
But until he
leaves this
world.
I will never
be free.
But for now
he is gone..