Fathers Day

You were not
a good father.
Most of
the time
you were not
happy with life
with me.
Fathers day,
does not
mean the same thing
mothers day
means to me.
Which is sad.
you made it
this way.
You did have
moments
of sweetness.
Where you
would hold
my hand.
You would
let me
drive with
you in your
truck.
As a Little
girl, I wanted
you to just
love me.
I think you
did, the only
way you could.
I can not help
watching girls
with their
fathers and
wonder...how
that feels.
That connection.
That love.
It looks so sweet.
It makes me
smile to see
a girl, or woman
kiss her father
and tell her she
loves him.
And see him smile.
You missed all
of that.
It made me a
different
person.
In my relationships
its been harder for
me...for a long
time I felt like
if even I got just
a little sweetness
it was better than
nothing.
except...now I realize
I deserve more.
Its time for me
to stop blaming
you for what should
have happened.
Its time for me
to be happy for
what is going to
happen.
so..
Happy Fathers Day.