Running away.

Maybe I
am running
from Love.
the one thing
I really want.
What if its not
the one thing
I really want?
What if I
keep telling myself
it is...but
in fact I am
scared.
Scared to let
anyone in.
So I get to
a certain
place and I just
will not let anyone
in.
I push, create and
run away.
To make it go
away.
Someone told
me something
recently that
just broke
me.
After you
go through
a break up
people love
to come up
and tell you
what they saw
that you did
not see.
He was cheating on you..
stealing from you.
lying to you.
I knew he was no good.
Is it real?
Who knows but
someone said
this to me..
Yeah he told me
after the second year
he felt trapped
and needed you
financially so he
stayed with you
and did what he
wanted.
I was in love for
20 yrs.
So is this person trying
to say 2yrs. after
this person was
never in love
with me?
It absolutely crushed me.
That casual phrase.
And maybe that's
why I am running away.
I will never
trust a man again.
Period.
I am running.
Running from
getting my heart
broken.