Voice..

After I work
out I lay on my
bed.
Time to pray.
But today
i do not want
to pray.
I get in my car
and i drive
to the worst
part of town.
Drugs, poverty
and violence.
I get out of my
car and walk
down
the street this
morning.
I want to see it.
see where i
came from.
At times
I miss it.
The struggle.
Some people
find those neighborhoods
with manicures lawns
and big houses
comforting.
I do not know
why I find
this calming.
I go to the local
coffee shop
to get a cup
of coffee.
I entered this
place wanting
to fit in.
Wanting
to be like
them again.
A voice behind
the counter
asked if I
was lost.
Lost?
No I respond
I just need
a cup of
coffee.
Here, the man gives
me a cup of coffee
in a small white cup.
I pull my money
out.
He takes it and gives
me my change.
Can I give you
some advice?
He looks at me.
He is a dirty
looking, man,
skinny and no teeth.
Yes, i say taking
my coffee.
You do not belong
here, just leave.
As I leave,
he is right.
I no longer can
claim this life.
Its been gone
for awhile.
I walk down
the street as
the sun in coming
up.
Funny the Sun
looks just as
beautiful
on this side of
the tracks.
I get in my car
and drive home.
I just feel guilty.
Guilty that I made
it.
Made it to the
other side.
When the voice
inside me told
me I would never
get here..
I did.