Your voice makes me cry

You called me
today.
And i wanted
to cry.
but i did not.
I hiked
went to
dance class.
I tried to
go out
with other people
so i would not think
of you.
Impossible.
I held it in
all day long.
pushed it down
deep inside
of me.
Not wanting to
cry in front
of people.
I just wanted
my privacy.
No questions.
I waited till
my mom
went upstairs
and I
sat down with
a pillow to
muffle my cry.
I leaned over the
pillow and let
the tears out.
This is between
you and I.
You told me to
just read your
email and I
did.
I could starve myself.
I could dance until my legs fail.
I could run, run until I
collapse.
I could go to school and
get 5 degrees.
I could make lots of
money and have
everything I could
possible want.
but,
I can not have you.
You tell me I could
do better.
Than just let me go.
I could date 20 men
and none of them.
None of them will
have my heart.
Your voice makes
me cry and
you.
You break my heart.