Growing up

I sit in my
jeep as the
rain falls heavy
on the windshield.
we have just
seen a movie and
had a nice time.
It went to
fast for me.
I really did
not want the
date to end.
as we walked to
our cars the
rain was coming
down pretty
hard.
we just strolled
like it was not
even raining.
people were
running to their
cars like
the end of the
world was happening.
not us.
we just
walked slowly
kissed goodbye and
left.
But not me.
I watched your
car drive off.
I sat for a few
minutes as
the rain fell.
I had a moment
with me.
Just me.
At this moment
I was not
trying
to please.
Be something
I am not.
Playing a
game.
Making excuses.
Crying.
I was sitting
here for
the first time
in 42 years,
I finally feel
good about
who I am.
How did I
get here?
smiling to myself
I am wet and cold.
well hell.
I guess I am
growing up.
It actually feels
good.