I see who you are.

Its not painful.
Its not a surprise.
I know who
you are,
that is why
I would not get
serious
about you.
You have always
been honest,
with me and
told me the truth.
I know you see
allot of woman.
When I come
down to the
beach you
always treat
me very
nice.
sometimes
I am blinded
by that.
So today
You tell me
to meet you
for lunch
at your restaurant.
I get on
my bike
and I bike down
to meet you.
I only have a
couple days
left.
As I park my
bike, I walk
to the back of
the restaurant.
This is where
you usually
hang out.
And there you
are.
But you are not
alone. You
are kissing a
girl half my age,
in a tiny bikini.
I knew this
was you.
You told me
this was you.
But seeing it...
It hurts.
My pride.
As I walk
to my bike
you run around
the other side
of the building.
Hey, you say.
Sorry about
that. I really did
not mean for you
to see that.
I stand there.
speechless.
My heart pounding
so hard my
ears can not
hear anything
that is coming
out of your mouth.
You stare at me
waiting for
a response.
Waiting..
I stare at you.
What to say?
I have no right
to say
anything...or do I?
I turn around
and get on my bike.
Don't go...you say.
not like this.
This is stupid..
she means nothing.
She will be gone
in a week and there
will be another.
You are different,
You are my friend.
I turn around
unaware of the
tears rolling
down my face.
Unable to speak
I force the
words.
I am no different
then her, or the
girl, next week.
I am the same.
I have feelings
and a heart.
I have pride.
Maybe too much.
I am not disposable,
and neither is she,
or the one next week.
You start to talk.
No.. I say quietly.
No.
you look at me,
and as I leave
I say simply.
I see who you
are.
Shame on you.
Riding my bike back
to the beach house
I cry.
Pathetic.
Why am I crying?
I am dating other
people..
what is this?
Numb I go down
the wrong street
and start laughing.
I have learned
allot about myself
and am still learning.
I see who I am.
and I am not
that girl.
Not for you.