I lost my family

Tonight as I
drove home
i cried.
I just lost my
family.
It was dysfunctional.
It was crazy.
But I was loved.
Loved so strongly.
Loved so deeply.
A love I never asked
for, but was given.
I just showed up
one day and was
loved.
If you can see
past the craziness
and the dysfunction.
If you can see
just the simpleness
of it.
you would see
that I was loved.
As I walked
to my car,
I was dizzy.
I was crying.
I threw up,
and kept walking.
I felt like
I had failed.
Not just me.
but my family.
A family
that at times
was not normal.
But a family
that would
go to battle
for me.
That would
fight
for me.
As I drove
home
tears streaming
down my face
I thought
how lucky I
was to meet
these woman.
at times they
tested me
and made
me pull out
my hair ,
but on a day like
today.
when I felt like
I could not
even walk,
they wrapped
their arms around
me and made
it possible.
They made
me feel like
I would make
it.
I lost my family
today.
But they will be
in my heart forever.
And I just
wanted to say....
You did make
it to my heart
and I am sorry
I failed you.