The phone rings

the phone
rings in the
middle of
my crying.
Its a Friend
of mine.
I take the call
and pretend
that I am not
crying.
I pretend
I am happy.
Yeah....Life is great.
I am 43  work for nothing
single woman that might
be pregnant..
And I am happy about
it.
My friend starts
talking to me
about work.
I start to laugh
at the story.
so I am feeling
sorry for myself
and laughing
at the same
time.
Then I just start to cry.
I can not
control it
I feel so bad.
I feel like
a stupid failure.
I feel lost.
I feel like
I have failed my
family.
I start crying.
the tears will not
stop and I
feel like if i
could just die
at this moment
I would be
at peace.
You let me
cry.
You say nothing.
I cry and moan.
then
silence.
Christina.
you say.
You are loved
by so many people.
You have no
idea how many
peoples lives and hearts
you have touched.
you can feel
lonely
you can feel
stupid.
you can feel
like you have made
bad choices..
but failure is not something
that goes with your name.
You make people
feel like they can
do it.
You make people feel
like no matter what
there is a light.
Its a huge responsibility.
but guess what?
Its your calling.
You have no choice.
Your phone will always
ring and you
will comfort those
around you.
You will take your
words and warm
their hearts.
your words will
lift.
Your words will
push.
I know this ,
because you do this
for me on
a daily basis.
Failure...no.
that is not you.
Rock
stone
pillar
yes...
You are my rock.
you are a rock.
and we need you.
I need you.
so...
cry
and simply
know your path
is to help others
and you will be hurt.
Your heart will ache.
You were made to
take our pain.
But in return ...
we will give you love .
because that is all
you need.
you are just looking
in the wrong places.
we hang up.
the phone rings ...
and  I pick it up.
I am made for this.