The right to choose.

sitting at my
sewing desk
I was thinking
about you.
what would
you look like?
white skin.
red hair...
maybe blond,
I would want
you to have
my eyes.
dark brown.
cute little nose.
dimples?
I would have
love you to
have dimples.
I sit trying
to make
a little doll.
A little something
to remember
you by.
You were just
a thought,
a possibility.
Something everyone
told me to get rid
of.
I knew if I did it.
If i made this choice
I would be different.
I would have a hole
in my heart.
they say its
your right to choose.
what a choice.
the morning
I woke up
and did not
have to make a
choice, I was
relieved.
But I was hurt
that everyone in
my life told me
to forget about you.
I wanted you.
only one person
told me
to keep you
and to love you.
I was going to
keep you.
and I have
loved you
my whole life.
god took my
choice away.
He knew I
was in pain.
Not by you.
by others.
I do have a right
to choose.
and if there is
a chance to choose
again,
I will choose
you and God
will let  me keep
you.
As the sewing
machine starts
to hum..
I start with
your beautiful
brown eyes.
my eyes.