Holy crap!!

I hate my
job.
There I said it.
I do.
I keep trying
to make excuses.
Trying to
make myself
love it.
I blame myself.
I could work harder.
I could be better.
What is wrong with you?
You have done this
your whole life.
It is easy , just do it.
Everyday starts the
same.
I cry.
I wipe my
tears.
I put on makeup
and 3 necklaces,
2 bracelets,
earrings.
Oh yeah a pin.
I hate it.
I fake my smile
and as i drive I talk
myself into it.
Today I was off.
I went to the bookstore
and bought 3 books.
Trying to help me
fix me.
heal me.
I took this test in this
book.
I scored myself and
turned to the back of the
book.
It listed the jobs that
I was built to do.
What I was made to do.
I looked down the list
looking for my job.
It was not listed.
What???
I was born for this.
I looked at the list.
What i saw amazed me.
Dancer.
Artist.
Therapist.
Helping people.
Teaching people.
No wonder I am
unhappy.
I am not even doing
what i should be
doing.
What happened?
I have been told
my whole life
this is what I
should be doing.
Then I realized...
Just because I am
good at something
does not mean
I love it.
The switch just
turned on.
I am so out
of here.
I am not
able to do this
because,
my values ,
my being
my makeup is
not made for
this.
Holy crap!!
I have just
woke up.
I
am
so
out
of here!!