The window is open , just a crack

The weather beautiful
today.
I crack open the window.
Just enough to
let the old air out
and let some new air in.
The breeze is gently
blowing and as
I pass by the window
My Mom walks by
and opens the
window all the way.
The gust so strong,
it blows things in my
living room over.
A vase, paper and
candles hit the floor.
Mom..I say..
be Careful.
I start to close the
window and
she grabs my
hands.
No..
she says.
She holds my hands
and says leave it.
I can tell she is
serious.
OK, I say.
I laugh, thinking
she is playing
around.
I smile at her.
she is not smiling
back.
She takes my face
in her hands and
brings my
face close to her.
What,  Mama..?
I say quietly.
This is your problem.
she speaks, slowly
and quietly.
This is your one shot,
Open the window.
Open it all the way.
All you do is open
it a crack to peek out.
That is not enough, she says.
Open and Jump.
I start to cry. not allot,
just tears streaming down
my face.
I am scared, mom. I say
to her.
What am I doing?
I ask.
You, my sweet child.
You, my strong bird.
You are hiding.
Stop it, she says.
Open up your window
and Jump.
We stand there, Looking
at each other.
Mom, I say..
What if I fall? At my age
the risk might not be the
smartest thing.
My Mom grabs me
and whispers...
in my ear...
God will catch you.
And if he does not,
I will.
If you waste another
moment, another,
breath on what makes
you unhappy, You waste
my life.
she hugs me , and
walks away.
I stand.
thinking.
Praying.
I look at the
window
and breathe,
I am jumping...
Here I go.