little voice

Christmas eve.
You should be
with the one
you love.
I am not.
the one
I love
is not healthy
for me.
I cut him
out of my
life.
It still does
not mean
i do not think
of him.
I ache
for him.
Christmas eve
is a time the love
is around
you.
not me.
I sit alone.
not quite
complete.
I miss him.
I love him.
the loving does
no good.
I am still alone
at night.
every night.
I wonder
if God will
grant me love.
The loneliness
is more than
I can take
at times.
As I lay down
on the couch,
I think of him.
I pray to God.
Please God,
get him out
of my heart
and send me
someone who
sees me,
before there
is nothing left
of me.
And Christmas eve
is no exception.
I lay my head
down and cry,
the voice in my
head says to
me hold on.
I have not
alot left.