I am not aloud to say

I love you.

This makes you

So nervous.

I left you 

A message

Letting 

You know

How I feel.

You simply 

Respond 

Thank you.

....

I sit on that.

I hate it.

Because I know 

The truth .

The words I am 

Not aloud

To say out loud.

You care 

For me.

You do.

But as much 

As I want 

To pretend.

I know in my

Heart,

You do 

Not love me.

It hurts.

So I say 

Out loud the

Words I 

Should 

Never

Say.

I am unlovable.

I am not supposed 

To find love.

My heart 

Is too big.

I am not aloud 

To say these 

Words ,

But I do.

Because for 

The

First time

In my 

Life

I want 

Honesty 

Not

Fantasy.