Beau

I was walking

in the park

today.

I went walking

by myself.

I am trying to

forgive

myself.

I sat on

 a bench in

the sunshine.

sitting in silence,

I am numb.

I miss you.

I bow my head

and start to

cry.

softly at first,

tears streaming

down my face.

I can feel it,

here it comes

and I do not

care.

I can not control

it. 

I just start sobbing.

Crying so

hard that I start 

making these

noises.

It sounds 

like someone

is dying.

I can not

breathe.

Should I be aloud to?

After what I have done?

As I lift my head 

there are 4 people 

standing around

me.

staring.

I can not speak.

As I look down

to me feet one

of the people

have a little 

dog.

I look in the dogs 

eyes.

This makes 

me start crying

louder.

One of the men

asks, Lady you OK?

I start

to say that I

am sorry,.

I am embarrassed.

I lift my head,

and reply,

I just had to put my 

dog down.

There was a 

universal sigh.

One of the ladies,

said 

I am sorry.

The little dog

walked over

to me

and leaned 

on my leg.

There was a silence

except for

my cries.

As I calmed,

One of the men

sat down

next to me.

He put hiis arm

around me.

I leaned

into him.

What can we

do for you?

He asked.

What do you 

need?

I gasped for

air and

as I looked

up at 

the group

around me.

All I could say

was 

forgiveness.

The man

pulled

me closer and

said lightly.

Lady,

you are

forgiven.

I cried for

another 20 min.

when I got

up off the bench

I thanked 

eveyone.

They all went 

their seperate

ways.

The man that

held me started

to walk away.

Hey, I called

out.

What was your

name?

My name

is Beau.

Thanks Beau.

I said.

My name is 

christina.

He turned and

looked at

me.

It was nice meeting

you Christina.

You are forgiven.

No need to

cry.

LIfe and Death 

are connected.

I smiled back 

at him.

Thanks again

Beau, I  replied.

No thanks needed

oh, he said

as he turned to

walk away,

My name is 

Beau,

but all

my friends

call me Buddy.

I stared at him.

Not able

to speak.

He simply

walked 

away.

I sat on the

bench.

and for the first

time in a week...

I felt

Peace.