My red shell, Part 2

I come here

a different woman....

I walk to dinner

alone.

Its something

I need to do.

Its somethng I

want to do. 

The sun is still 

out and a light

breeze is

blowing.

I walk with purpose.

with independence.

I love the beach.

Its my..

sanity.

I get to the restaurant.

Its a little shack with 

no Air.

It looks

like a place in Key west.

Ceiling fans

huge windows 

with screens and a

sweet breeze blowing.

I get a table by a 

window 

and I order 

a glass of

wine with a piece

of grilled Tuna.

You text me,

I look at my phone

and read your

text.

It says,

you got this?

I reply with a

smile,

Yes.

He knows

how important 

this is to me.

I am saying 

goodbye to

lovers

who have done 

me wrong 

and celebrating,

Not finding 

 a new love.

But finding 

the most important

thing,

my gusico rosso

My Red shell. 

I lost it here 

years ago.

I almost killed

myself here.

I almost 

ended

my life.

But...

I saved 

myself.

my meal 

and wine 

come.

It is beautiful.

I start to cry.

my phone 

buzzes.

It is you,

You simply

say,

Your Red Shell is

beautiful,

good luck.

I smile and

try not 

to break down.

I Eat my

meal

and drink 

my wine

as the Sunsets 

over the sound

of hatteras.

The waiter

brings

the check.

I hope you have

enjoyed your meal,

he says.

Thank you,

I reply.

I did.

How was it?

I sit for 

a moment,

and I

say with a 

smile,

It was 

life changing.

I smile.

As I get up

and leave

the restaurant,

I hear

a song playing

in the distance,

its Edie Brickell,

good times.

I got my shell

back,

Its Red

its Bad 

and God Damn

It is the 

brightest Red

you have ever

seen.

Watch out,

I am

Alive.