I will never know

I watched

Your eyes

Filled with 

Tears.

I will never 

Know that

Feeling.

You were

Showing

Me pictures

And videos

Of your 

Children.

You are

The proud

Father

That 

Sacrificed 

So much.

Sitting 

On your 

Bed 

Watching 

The videos.

Your son

Sitting next

To

Me.

You across

From me.

I see my

Reflection

And 

I realize 

I don't 

Fit.

Your past 

Is yours

And I have 

No place 

In 

Those 

Memories.

This 

This 

Right here 

Is what

I always 

Wanted.

A good

Husband

Loving father 

Children.

Memories.

Baseball

Soccer 

Band.

Not my 

Past.

I try 

Not to 

Cry.

It would 

Be strange.

So I 

Pushed it 

Down.

I left 

And felt 

So bad.

It's not 

Your fault 

I have 

To fix 

This

Myself.

Why am 

I feeling 

This 

Way?

Regret?

Yes.

Why 

Was I so 

Selfish 

And did 

Not have 

Children?

I walked to my 

Car

And 

Cried.

I sat in 

My 

Car

Sobbing.

A man 

Walking 

His dog 

Thumped 

On my window.

I rolled it 

Down.

Are you 

Ok honey?

He asked.

Yes 

I responded.

Thank 

You for checking.

He nodded 

And kept 

Walking.

I let 

The tears 

Fall.

I whispered 

I 

Will 

Never 

Know.

And 

I will not.