Yellow and blue

As I clean
out the tub
I am really
thinking of
nothing.
My mind
is empty
and I
am also
empty.
I have
given
so much,
there is
nothing
left for
me.
How did
I get here?
I promised myself
that I would
not do
this again.
Give until
I was empty.
My life
is good,
but I
have given
and
let go
of things
I love.
The smell
of the bleach
gently
reminds me
of a fresh
start,
clean.
As I finish
cleaning
the tub
I prepare
for my
bath.
my ritual.
I have not
done
this in a long
time.
I need to
start taking
care of
myself
mentally
and physically.
I put the big
yellow bath
ball in the
tub
as the hot water
splashes
over it.
I sit watching
the water
turn
into
a bright yellow
foam.
As I step
in I remember
this feeling.
Its a feeling
of comfort
and letting go.
As I lay in
the bath tub
the second
color
bleeds
of blue.
It took
me 5 years
to find
myself.
This creative
beautiful
creature
and it took
just 2 years
to lose her
again.
So as my
water
turns
from
yellow to
blue
I need
to find
my way
back.
The color
is not important.
But the change
is.
I lay
on my belly
and watch
the water
swirl.
I miss
you
sweet
wild
giving
girl.
How did you
get so lost?
The yellow
and blue
foam
remind
me of
the color
in my soul.
I can be
bright
again,
I will
be.