Socks in your tub

I remember
taking
off my clothes.
I looked in
your shower
and knew
I would never
be able to
put my bare feet
in your tub.
Dirty,
would be the
word.
We just started
dating and
I liked you
but I knew
that my feet
would never
be able to go
in that tub.
I put some of your
socks on my
feet and took
a
shower in your tub.
I sit here thinking
of that and it makes
me smile.
I know
that you are sick.
Cancer.
I feel so guilty.
What am I supposed to
do?
Don't you see we
would never have
made it?
As your words
continue
to fill my phone
and my head,
Don't you understand?
Do you not see?
We were never
supposed to be.
The cancer just
reminds you
that your time might
me short.
you are grabbing for
me to protect you.
To comfort you.
Just like I did that
first morning.
I grabbed your socks
to protect me
in your tub.
I am not your love.
I am not our heart.
I am just
comfort.
I am
socks
in your tub.