A Guest in My Home

 Just sitting 

here.

Thinking 

It was going 

to be different. 

I laugh 

and smile.

Telling myself 

to calm 

the voices inside 

my head.

You know 

when you will

always remember

a moment.

A moment 

that tells 

you, how 

others feel 

about you? 

I shake

the voice out 

of my head 

and start

 to clear the dishes.

As I step back and look

into the room

I see

it

I feel 

it

I run the water and

start to clean.

I always 

jump 

up to do the 

dishes.

Because when 

I sit at 

the table

I feel it.

It squeezes me

so hard 

that each breath

I take hurts. 

The dismissal.

So I clean 

and have to put

my armor 

on so I don't get hurt

and remind 

myself.

I 

am 

just 

a guest 

in my 

hone.